Friday, March 29, 2013

A Very Good Friday

Four years ago, I experienced something of a spiritual awakening.
I had been aching with the pain of childlessness—pain that spanned over six years. That pain had soured inside of me. In some kind of self-sufficient effort to protect myself, I hardened. My heart became a rock. I saw God as a cruel “cosmic bully” (to borrow A.W. Pink’s term). He was playing around with my life and breaking my heart.
So I didn’t care for Him. At all.
And incidentally, I didn’t care for many people either. The bitterness wrapped around my heart and stole love and compassion from nearly every interaction. Relationships deteriorated.
But then! The Lord used this Word to melt my stony heart:
We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)
And He used a faithful woman who spoke the hard truth to me with great tenderness.
He pulled me back to Himself—drew me with “bands of love” (Hosea 11:4). He wouldn’t let me go. I was His, and He chased after me. While I ran the other direction. His living and active Word changed me when I was not looking to be changed.

Then Good Friday came. And the sky never looked brighter. My heart felt it might burst with joy. That mercy and grace He promised for my time of need had filled me up. And it overflowed.
I felt more profoundly than ever before the great sacrifice that was the death of my Great High Priest. And I rejoiced more fully than ever before in the great triumph that was His resurrection! Because I knew it was for ME.
And so, I celebrate Good Friday as the anniversary of my heart’s capture.  

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