Friday, January 25, 2013

Thoughts at 47 Weeks...

Yesterday it occurred to me that in a mere five weeks, Chris will have been gone an entire year. That is shocking. I have been without him for 47 weeks! In some ways, though, it feels like 470 weeks...
I found this old picture from a road trip we took with Abby & Jake

 The loneliness is suffocating at times. To know the pleasure of marriage and then to have it all gone... To be separated from the one who knew me best. To know that there is no marriage in heaven. Chris and I no longer belong to each other. Almost a year, but it still feels quite foreign. And in many ways, the passage of time magnifies the loneliness.
So this is a big, daring, vulnerable thing for me to say so publicly. But here it is: pray for another husband for me? Another father for my girl? Not to replace Chris--but to be another amazing man in our lives.
I desire to be satisfied in God alone! And I also ask him for this good gift. Would he really give it twice? Is that a greedy request?
"A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. He sets the solitary in families..." -Psalm 68:5-6a


  1. As always, I will be praying for this and from me to you, I think it is a Christ radiating request.
    As this first year comes to a close, I will be thanking God for not only what you have learned through this journey of grief, but for what I have learned from you. I know that speaking pubically creates vulnerability and can invite criticism, but thank you for your willingness to step out on a limb...that is where the fruit is.

  2. Emily,
    My heart is heavy for you! May God grant this request!

    Love and sincere prayers for you this day...

  3. I will be praying for another wonderful husband for you! May God grant you your request!


  4. Emily,

    Psalm 37 promises us that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will grant the desires of our heart. You, more than most, have delighted in the Lord and walked in His ways. I will be praying that He grants the desire of your heart to have another amazing husband/father for you and Erika.