Friday, September 7, 2012

Re-Making Life

So, over Labor Day weekend I did something exciting. I redecorated my bedroom. And I love it! The color scheme and design has been in my mind for a few months. But this was the time! My dear mom stayed up late with me, painting away cheerfully. She’s pretty much in love with my room too.

               room pics 012                       room pics 013

Now guys, would you agree—this is not the kind of room guys would generally appreciate? Yeah, Chris would NOT have gone for it either. But guess what? I don't have to pick things that Chris will like anymore. I can buy a purple shirt and know that I am not wearing a color he detests. (I haven’t done that yet—I can’t quite decide if I like the color purple…) And I can have a pretty, pink (and tan) bedroom because its just for me.

Please don't misunderstand... I ache—with all my heart—to make wardrobe and decor choices that he would love. But perhaps this is part of my healing, my re-making of life. A finding of a bit of sunshine in a whole bunch of clouds. Gratitude.

I find so very much for which to be grateful. Maybe the more you lose, the more you appreciate all that you have. I have a Lord who holds my hand and my heart--and is so very gentle with both. I have the most amazing daughter who came to me in the most amazing way. I have the memory of the best man I have ever known loving me with a love that I did not deserve. I have a family who would readily take every ounce of pain from me if they could. And I have a pink bedroom.


  1. Hi Emily.
    You don't know me, I commented on your Caringbridge journal a few times. I'm good friends with Megan Fremont and I live out in California.
    Your blog is a real encouragment. My dad went to Heaven three years ago and it is interesting to read some of the similarites between what you and my mom have experienced. It helps to know even more how to encourage my mom.
    I identified with this post. There are many things we have done in the last three years that we didn't do when my dad was alive. We had our dog, Maggie, have puppies. We eat tuna salad sandwiches for dinner, things like that. It definitely doesn't mean you wouldn't rather have your husband/dad around, but it's just part of the "new normal."
    I'm still praying for you and am praising God for His faithfulness and presence in your life!

    -Amanda Taylor

  2. Thanks for writing, Amanda! Good to "meet" you. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Thanks for reading, for sharing, and for praying!

  3. Oh I'm so glad you and Amanda have "met"! I knew Amanda for many years at Grace Community and at college, she's great :)

    Emily, is that the room at the end of the hallway at your parents'? I believe that's where Becca and I stayed when we were there.

    Thank you for continuing to share your heart, I still love you and am praying for you and Erika. The room is beautiful! That window seat especially :)


  4. It is beautiful....
    the bedroom and what God is doing in your heart and through your heart.
    Praying and praising with you!

  5. Can I have that window, please. It begs for time with a good book. Love it.
    Just so you know, I resubscribed today because I didn't get the notice of this post except through Caring Bridge. Love, Susan Blount

  6. Thanks Ladies! And yes, Elizabeth, it IS that very room. :)